Break the Silence: A Parents' and Carers' Guide to Bullying

Signs your child may be being bullied

• Not wanting to go to school, or feeling unwell on school mornings.
• Unexplained injuries, or lost or damaged belongings.
• Changes in sleep, appetite or mood.
• Becoming withdrawn, anxious, tearful or angry.
• Seeming upset after using their phone, or suddenly avoiding it.
• Asking for extra money, or losing dinner money.
• Dropping friends or activities they used to enjoy.

Starting the conversation

Choose side-by-side moments, in the car, cooking or on a walk. Try:

• "Who did you sit with at lunch today?"
• "Is anything in your group chats annoying you at the moment?"
• "Has anyone said anything that stuck with you this week?"
• "What would you do if a friend was being picked on?"

Tell them you will not be angry with them and will not take their phone away just because they told you.

If your child tells you they are being bullied

1. Stay calm and listen to the whole story.
2. Thank them for telling you and say clearly it is not their fault.
3. Do not promise to keep it secret, but agree together what happens next.
4. Write down what happened, with dates, times, places and who was involved.
5. Keep evidence: screenshots of messages and posts (with usernames and dates), photos of injuries or damage.
6. Do not contact the other child or their family, or post about it online.
7. Contact the school (form tutor, head of year or pastoral lead) and ask for a copy of its anti-bullying policy.
8. Agree a plan with the school, with a date to review it, and keep checking in with your child.

If it is happening online

Screenshot, block, report on the platform, and tell the school if it involves pupils. If anyone shares or threatens to share a nude or semi-nude image of your child, do not forward it. Contact the school and police, and your child can use Childline and the IWF's Report Remove tool to have it taken down.

If things do not improve

Ask for a meeting with the head of year or the DSL. If you are still not satisfied, follow the school's complaints procedure, which should be on its website. Contact the police straight away if there is violence, threats, harassment or blackmail, or call 999 in an emergency.