It Takes All of Us: Teacher Handbook
Lesson at a glance
Years 8 and 9 | 60 minutes | Resources: slides, worksheet per pupil (kept in school), scenario cards A to D from slide 10, green/amber/red cards, anonymous question box, help cards for every pupil.
Creating a safe space (this matters more than any activity)
- Assume someone in the room is living with domestic abuse, even if no one is known to be.
- Agree ground rules together (slide 2), including the right to pass and an agreed time-out signal with a named place pupils can go, with an adult available.
- Use distancing: fictional characters only. Do not invite personal stories in front of the class.
- No graphic images, videos or detailed descriptions of violence.
- Be clear and repeat: abuse is never the victim's fault, and never a child's fault.
- Avoid framing boys as the problem. Most men and boys are not violent; the lesson asks everyone to be part of the solution.
- Keep a calm, matter-of-fact tone and leave time at the end. Do not end on a scenario.
- Make yourself available after the lesson and remind pupils who else they can talk to.
Before the lesson
- Tell your DSL the date and time, and ask whether any pupils in the group are known to be affected, including through Operation Encompass notifications (where the police tell the school a child has been affected by a domestic abuse incident, before the next school day).
- With the DSL, give known pupils a private heads-up and a choice about how they take part. Do not single them out in front of others.
- Add names and photos of trusted adults, including the DSL, to slide 11, and the time-out place to slide 2.
- Print help cards for every pupil so no one stands out.
- Check your school's safeguarding and disclosure procedures.
Timings
| Time | Activity | Slides |
|---|---|---|
| 0 to 7 min | Safe space ground rules; What is White Ribbon Day? | 1 to 3 |
| 7 to 12 min | The White Ribbon Promise discussion | 4 |
| 12 to 25 min | Healthy, unhealthy or abusive sort and talking points | 5 to 6 |
| 25 to 32 min | What is domestic abuse? Key messages | 7 to 8 |
| 32 to 45 min | Sexism and group chat discussion; scenario cards in groups | 9 to 10 |
| 45 to 55 min | Where to turn for help; if a friend tells you; hand out help cards to everyone | 11 to 12 |
| 55 to 60 min | Private reflection, question box, close | 13 |
Answers and talking points
Sort: Green: respects no; supports seeing friends; says sorry and changes; lets you choose. Amber: checks phone; angry about replies; put-downs as banter. Red: controlling what you wear; pressure to send photos; making you scared.
Scenarios: A) controlling behaviour, a warning sign of coercive control; Jade could talk to a trusted adult or Childline. B) harmful misogynistic content; friends can question it, change the subject, and talk to an adult. C) Amira may be experiencing domestic abuse at home; her friend should listen, believe her, and help her tell a trusted adult or tell one themselves. D) sexual harassment; bystanders can refuse to join in, check on the girls, and report it.
Note: abuse in relationships between under-16s is not covered by the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 definition, but it is child-on-child abuse under KCSIE 2026 and must be responded to as a safeguarding matter.
Safeguarding and disclosures
- If a pupil discloses, listen, do not promise secrecy, record their words and report to the DSL immediately, following your procedures (how to respond when a child discloses abuse).
- If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
- Check the question box straight after the lesson for anything indicating risk and pass it to the DSL.
- Never contact home about a disclosure without the DSL's agreement; contacting home can increase risk.
- See also: recognising and responding to domestic abuse for school staff and coercive control at home.
Why this pack has no letter home
We have deliberately not included a parent or carer letter. A letter, text or email home that mentions domestic abuse could be read by someone causing harm in the home, and could put a child, or a non-abusing parent, at greater risk. Instead:
- If your school normally informs families about RSHE, use a general termly curriculum overview that lists "healthy relationships" without singling out domestic abuse.
- Keep worksheets in school. Pupils write first names only.
- Never send anything home addressed to an individual child about this lesson.
- Offer help cards to every pupil, and tell them they can keep the card in school or take a photo of it instead.
In England, pupils cannot be withdrawn from Relationships Education or Health Education; parents may only request withdrawal from sex education within RSE. In Wales, RSE is mandatory with no right to withdraw.
Differentiation and SEND
- Use the green, amber and red cards as a physical sort, with symbols.
- Give sentence starters: "This is unhealthy because..." "A friend could..."
- Pre-teach vocabulary: respect, consent, control, abuse, sexism, trusted adult.
- Make sure pupils with SEND know a specific adult and how to reach them.
KS4 extension (Years 10 and 11)
Add coercive control (a criminal offence for adults under section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015), image-based abuse, and how online misogyny spreads through algorithms. Link to our misogyny and incel culture resources if available.
Curriculum links
England: statutory Relationships, Sex and Health Education (healthy relationships, respectful relationships, online and media, being safe). Wales: Curriculum for Wales Health and Well-being and the RSE Code. Northern Ireland: Personal Development and Mutual Understanding / Learning for Life and Work.
Assessment and follow-up
Use the quiz as an exit ticket. Revisit healthy relationships during the 16 Days of Activism (to 10 December). Consider White Ribbon UK accreditation for your school.