Coercive Control at Home: How It Harms Children and What to Do About It

What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour that seeks to take away the victim's liberty or freedom and strip away their sense of self. Unlike a single incident of violence, coercive control operates through cumulative tactics designed to dominate and control. It was criminalised in England and Wales by Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015, carrying a maximum sentence of five years imprisonment.^[1]

It is distinct from — though often accompanied by — physical violence. Survivors frequently report that the psychological impact of coercive control is more devastating and longer-lasting than physical injuries, partly because it is harder to name, harder to leave, and less likely to be believed.

Recognising the Tactics

Coercive control operates through a range of overlapping behaviours. No single tactic defines it — it is the pattern and the intent to control that matters:

How Coercive Control Affects Children

Children who witness or live with coercive control are directly harmed — even if they are never physically hurt themselves. Under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, children are now explicitly recognised as victims of domestic abuse in their own right, not merely witnesses.^[5]

The research evidence on impact is stark. The NSPCC found that children exposed to domestic abuse (including coercive control) are significantly more likely to experience anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and difficulties in school.^[4] They are also at greater risk of entering abusive relationships themselves in adolescence and adulthood — a pattern linked to normalised experiences of control rather than any character failing in the child.

Working Together to Safeguard Children 2023 requires practitioners to consider the impact of domestic abuse on children as part of every safeguarding assessment, and to treat parental coercive control as a safeguarding concern in its own right.^[6]

Signs a Child May Be Living with Coercive Control

Children cannot always name what they are experiencing — but their behaviour often signals distress. Schools and parents in wider families should be alert to:

• Persistent anxiety, fearfulness, or hypervigilance — particularly around a specific adult
• Flinching at sudden movements or raised voices
• Regression to younger behaviours (bed-wetting, thumb-sucking in older children)
• Difficulty concentrating, sudden drop in school performance
• Restricted social life — rarely able to go to friends' houses or after-school activities
• Speaking about a parent's behaviour in hushed tones, or being evasive when asked
• Wearing covering clothing in summer (may indicate physical harm too)
• The controlling parent monitoring all communication with school, other family members, or professionals

If You Are Experiencing Coercive Control

Leaving a coercive relationship is rarely simple — and the period immediately after leaving is statistically the most dangerous. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) offers 24-hour advice, safety planning, and access to refuge spaces. You are not overreacting. Coercive control is a crime, and you deserve support.

If You Are Worried About a Child

If you are a family member, neighbour, teacher, or friend who is concerned that a child is living with coercive control:

• Do not confront the controlling adult — this can escalate risk for both the victim parent and the children
• Make gentle, non-judgmental contact with the non-controlling parent if it is safe to do so
• If you have a safeguarding concern about a child, contact your local MASH (Multi-Agency Safeguarding Hub) or call the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000
• In an emergency, always call 999