Online Influencers and Your Teenager: Spotting Harmful Messages
A calm, practical guide to talking with teenagers about online influencers, harmful messages, misogyny and radicalisation, with signs to notice and ways to respond.
Teenagers, especially boys, can be drawn to online personalities who promise money, status and confidence. Some of these creators mix genuine self-improvement tips with hostile views about women, or encourage young people to see themselves as victims.
Why it appeals
Teenagers want belonging and direction. Algorithms notice what they watch and keep serving more of it, so a few clips can become a daily feed.
Warning signs to look for
One sign on its own does not prove that something is wrong. Look for changes and patterns, and choose a calm moment to ask what your teenager thinks.
- Repeating phrases or ideas that sound rehearsed.
- Contemptuous language about girls, women or teachers.
- Growing distrust of school, family or "the mainstream".
- Sudden interest in get-rich-quick schemes.
- Withdrawal, secrecy or irritability when devices are taken away.
What helps
- Ask before you argue. "What do you like about him?" is more likely to get an honest answer than "he's a terrible person".
- Challenge the claims, not your child. Ask "How does he make his money?" and "Who benefits if you believe this?"
- Talk about algorithms. Explain that feeds are designed to keep them watching, not to tell them the truth.
- Offer better role models and real-life activities. Sport, work experience or clubs can offer a sense of achievement and belonging.
- Keep the door open. Banning content outright often makes it more attractive. Make it clear your teenager can talk to you without being judged.
If it goes further
Speak to the school's Designated Safeguarding Lead. If your child expresses support for violence or extremist views, you can raise it with the school or contact your local police on 101.
For more background, see our practical resource on misogyny and incel culture in schools. It is written for school staff, but may help you understand the language and ideas your teenager is encountering.